Botheration!, said Poh

As I sit here pondering the sad state of my social life (or rather the lack there of) I have come to find a new basic principle about interaction with others.
It's "Can't be bothered."
As in-"I can't be bothered to call you back."
As in-"I can't be bothered to be in touch"
As in- "Why do you bother to do all this?"
As in-" Who are you to be bothered about my life?"
As in- "Who would be bothered to check on me if I just stopped showing up at x activity, or maintaining contact?"
Alas, for a 48 year old person with [i]all sorts of great qualities[/i] the only two people I can come up with are:
My Mom
and my friend Peter, who now lives in Maryland.
I used to think I had lots of friends. Then I started to see who would call me if I didn't call them first. Amazing. Almost NONE of the people I thought gave a crap about me seemed to even notice when I wasn't in touch. There are mutual friends here, and I would ask "Do they ever ask how I am?" and the answer would be "well...no."
Sometimes I think, just fuck it. And sometimes I wonder what I do or don't do that leads to this response from people. I would hope that someone would tell me if I smell funny, or if my laugh is obnoxious.
And sometimes, when it's the most effort to just keep getting up and doing every day, I start to wonder-
why bother?

Who's in charge?

So I'm checking out SLOG, the blog of The Stranger. TS is Seattle's alternative weekly paper. And someone is bitching that Dan Savage and the leaders of the gay community ruined the chances of same-sex marriage ever becoming legal because of their focus on marriage instead of civil unions, and their noticing that much of the African American community is homophobic.
I started to wonder-who are these gay leaders? They aren't elected, nor are they appointed by some central Gay Organization. A few people have become known in the public eye as being gay and willing to talk about it on TV in a way that won't necessarily scare the neighbors.
So now these people are the "leaders" of a "gay community" that exists as a media construct. And when one of them says or does something that some other gay person disagrees with they are accused of having led the gay community astray.
My question is: why aren't these complainers going out and becoming leaders of the gay community that tackle the problems they see as urgent? If housing for runaway gay teens in LA is really really important to you-go raise some money and build it. Don't yell at anyone just because they want something else. Heck-you could even go into politics and work to change the nasty laws into ones you love.

So what's all this then?

It's a pretty kettle of fish. I'm just using this as a place to store some of the ideas that rattle around in my head from time to time. Stop by and see what bizarre thing has caught my eye/ear/brain this week. Regularity of posting is as time allows, and as inspiration strikes. Comments more than welcome.